Signs a Guy Has Never Had a Girlfriend

Whether you’re asking seemingly innocent questions on a first date or checking out his place for the first time, here are some tips to help you tell if your new guy has never had a girlfriend before. 1. None of his furniture seats more than one person. Most single guys don’t have the greatest furniture collections (really, who in their 20s does?), but if his living room setup includes a video game chair, a recliner, a papasan, and the odd camping chair or folding chair, then he’s obviously never needed to share his TV-viewing space with another person. He probably didn’t realize that he needed a loveseat until he met someone he wanted to snuggle up and watch a movie with. 2. He brags that he can shoot pool both right- and left-handed. If he’s had the time, energy, and dedication to make himself ambidextrous and to study the physics and geometry involved in shooting pool, then odds are, he wasn’t devoted much time, energy, or dedication to a girl. 3. He’s not on Facebook. We all know that our time spent on Facebook is 49% looking at pictures of cute baby animals and 51% stalking our exes. No exes to stalk = no need for Facebook. 4. He doesn’t know what a Cosmopolitan or a Lemon Drop is. Fact: girls drink girly drinks. If he has no idea what any of the girliest of girly drinks are, then he probably hasn’t spent much time in the company of girls and drinks. Unless he’s in AA, of course. 5. He orders the spiciest, stinkiest, most fibrous item on the menu. Black bean burrito with garlic and onion? The curry so hot even the waiter winces? Clearly, he hasn’t considered the consequences of his actions if he orders food that comes a glass of milk and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. He might have great taste in curries, but ordering that risky of a food on an early date shows that he isn’t in the habit of considering how his food choices might affect people within a 50-foot radius. 6. He has lots of female friends—but they’re all online. It’s always great to find a guy who can sustain friendships with girls. But if all of his female friends live in his computer and in another state or country, that’s a sign he probably doesn’t deal well with girls in real life. Sure, he can talk to them online for hours while playing World of Warcraft or Magic: The Gathering, but he doesn’t have much experience asking a girl about her day, her family, or what kind of ice cream she likes. Those topics don’t usually come up when you’re fighting other planeswalkers 7. He literally doesn’t know how to cook anything. Even the grossest of bachelors who live on frozen pizza and waffles usually know how to cook at least one decent thing. Most guys know that one good way to get a girl into your apartment is to offer to cook for her, and you have to know how to make at least one passable thing in order to make that happen. 8. None of his hobbies involve much interaction with women. Hobbies are great. Most of us took up a hobby in the first place so that we could meet people to date. But if his hobbies are almost entirely male-dominated (think motorsports, fishing, and astronomy), he probably didn’t get into them to meet girls and he probably hasn’t met too many girls doing them 9. There’s a single role of toilet paper in his bathroom, and it only has three squares left. Chicks pee. A lot. Most people who spend time around girls know that. If he’d girls over at his place with any regularity, he’d know how much they pee and have more than a scrap of toilet paper at the ready. buzzlamp