Dating Tips For Single Mothers

It can be a daunting time getting back on the singles’ scene when you’re used to your children being your top priority. It probably feels like there’s no time to sit down and read the newspapers, let alone think about dating! Fear not though, as we’re here to help.
Here are 10 top dating tips for single mothers.
 1) Spruce Up Your Wardrobe You may be used to walking around the house in an oversized hoodie with your hair tied back and no makeup on, but now is the time for a new lease of life; a time to unleash your inner goddess and be a proud hot Mama! Use your newly single status as an excuse to pamper yourself and go shopping – buy a sexy new little black dress and get a new hairstyle to make you feel extra confident.
2) Do New Things to Meet New Men To get something you’ve never had before, you need to do something you’ve never done before, and this applies to the dating world too! Never been on a dating site? Well get on one immediately and start browsing! If dating sites seem a bit too time-consuming for you, and little Billy is pulling your hair and tapping the keys every time you try to log on, why not have some “you time” each week to go to a local dance, fitness or foreign language class? You deserve a break and these sort of clubs are a great way to meet new people and potentially new romantic partners too! Meeting someone in a bar on a night out is always very hit and miss, so start participating in new hobbies and activities and who knows who you will meet!
3) Be Upfront and Don’t Hide Anything Revealing you’ve got kids may make you feel nervous; you’re probably worried about scaring your new man off, but don’t worry. The new man in your life is dating you for who you are, not because of your kids, so it shouldn’t matter. If he wants to, he will, and if he likes you, it won’t be an issue. If you lie, the truth will have to come out eventually, so be truthful from the onset otherwise you’ll risk losing that person when the truth comes out later. Also be honest about what you’re looking for – if that’s something serious, don’t pretend you’re happy with a casual fling just because that’s what you think the guy you’re dating wants.
4) Don’t Slate Your Ex He may have cheated on you, walked out on you and your kids, or perhaps you two just can’t stand the sight of each other! The likelihood is that you and your ex aren’t on the best of terms, but before you start slating him, remember, you’re on a date for a reason! The more you lay into your ex, the more your new guy will wonder if you’re on the rebound/fully over your ex yet, so stay focused on your mind and don’t dredge up bad memories.
5) Choose A Reliable Babysitter When it comes to the night of your hot date, the last thing you want is to be worrying about is your kids all night, so choose a reliable babysitter. Whether that’s your parents, a good friend, or a babysitter you’ve used before, make sure that date night isn’t the first time you’re trying a new babysitter, otherwise you could spend more time worrying about your kids than enjoying the date!
6) Take It Slow Your time may be precious because you give so much of it to your children, but that doesn’t mean you need to rush and skip the “getting to know each other” stages. It’s vital that you give your new relationship time to grow and that you spend time getting to know each other and developing your trust. So take it slow, and don’t rush into being exclusive too soon.
7) Share Ideas Online There’s a wealth of information, ideas and stories online just waiting to be found! If all of your friends are hooked up and enjoying married life, don’t feel low and left-out. Join single parenting support groups and interact with other single Mums on online forums to share about how to meet people and embrace life as a single Mum on the dating scene.
8) Steer the Conversation Away from Your Kids Your kids may be the centre of your world, but before you know it, your date could be snoozing in his bowl of bolognese if all you can talk about is the funny things your offspring say and do. Don’t let them be the main topic of conversation, instead only talk about them when your date asks. Use the time to have some timulating adult conversation – find out about your new man and his work, hobbies and interests. Talk about your favourite things and places you’d like to visit, rather than just your children.
9) Get the Timing Right for Introducing Your Children You want your kids to love your new man, and you want your new man to love your kids, but it’s very important to keep dates private until things are serious. Remember – kids can get attached very quickly and you risk upsetting them if the new friend in their life suddenly disappears. Your kids don’t need to meet every man you date. The chances are that you’ll probably date several different guys before you find the one who is worthy of you and your children. Concentrate on building the foundations of your relationships before the introduction. When you do decide to let them meet, plan a casual daytime date where your kids can spend time with your “new friend”. See how it goes and work from there. Your kids are the most important thing to you, so you want a man who is good with children. If your new man doesn’t gel with your kids, the relationship can’t progress, so don’t wait until you’re already engaged to introduce them, but at the same time, don’t invite the kids on the first date! A couple of months is usually best.
10) Trust Your Instinct You may feel like you’ve been swept off your feet in a whirlwind romance, but the most important thing is to always listen to your gut feeling and to watch out for any red flags. If there are signs that your new man has a bad temper, he seems possessive, he mentions unpaid debts or he’s is in a rush to get married – these are all warning signs for you to step back and reassess. Don’t let the rose tinted glasses fool you! Never forget how important your children are – so if this guy doesn’t like kids or specifically your kids, it’s time to wave goodbye. It will never be a succssful relationship if your new man isn’t comfortable around your children. He needs to understand that you’re a Mother first and foremost, so your kids will always be your top priority.
So with all of these tips, you’re now ready to rock the dating world! Just remember to dress to impress, be confident, enjoy life and most importantly, have fun!
Source: welovedates.com

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Men: 7 Rarest Qualities of a True Gentleman

These days, it’s hard to meet a man with qualities of a true gentleman. But every woman still hopes to find a true gentleman, chivalry is surely not dead. Times are changing, and the way in which we perceive perfection is changing as well. Sure, you don’t have to dwell on perfection, since there is no perfect man. But still, here are seven rarest qualities of a true gentleman that women would love their men to have.
1. Calmness
Everybody is allowed to become angry, however, a true gentleman keeps calm and collected in any situation. He always knows how to cope with his temper and he doesn’t allow his frustration to alter his personality. Moreover, he will never vent his anger on you.
2. Manly manners 
I’m sure lots of women will agree that manly manners are lacking in modern men. When a true gentleman meets your parents, you don’t worry about what he will do or say. He is never inappropriate, and he will do traditional things such as pulling out the chair for you or holding open doors. A true gentleman will treat her woman like she deserves to be treated.
3. Little sweetness 
‘Thank you’ and ‘please’ are small words with a great impact. It is very important for a person to show appreciation. Even the smallest comment can make someone’s day. After all, don’t you like when your hairstyle is complimented? You want your man to smile at passersby and to be polite to sellers and waiters. He will be a true gentleman they wish they knew, and you are lucky enough to be a woman he loves.

4. Patience
Patience is one of the rarest qualities of a true gentleman. Sometimes men, without realizing it, push women to be physical. Maybe it’s not a terrible thing for you, but it can make a woman uncomfortable, especially if she is not ready to move forward in a relationship. If your man is a true gentleman, he will understand your desire to wait, and he will support whatever decision you take.
5. He never makes you feel uncomfortable
A real gentleman will never tell inappropriate jokes and he will never push you to discuss a subject that you don’t want to talk about. He will never make anything that would make you feel bad and uncomfortable. When you are around a true gentleman, you are absolutely at ease.
6. He never uses swear words
A true gentleman acts a bit differently than a prince in Disney movies does. Sure, he is not going to go around dancing and singing to declare his love for you. Your relationship’s going to be real and cursing can happen sometimes. But there’s a huge difference between cursing in anger or excitement and curses which are aimed at you. A true gentleman will never use swear words, which will be aimed at you.

7. Strong morals
A true gentleman will never take advantage of a woman. He will never steal and drink and drive. He will never do anything that he thinks is wrong or bad. He possesses strong morals, and he knows which things are good. I believe that true gentlemen do exist but in reality it a scarce commodity to come by. You should also believe that some day you will meet one of them. Stop thinking that there are only bad guys. What other qualities do you believe define a man as a real gentleman? Please share your thoughts with us.
Source: amerikanki.com

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Ten Tips to Manage Anger and Reduce Conflict in Relationships

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable in relationships. Anger is a natural emotion, anddisagreements can be healthy sign of difference.Conflict usually occurs because certain needsare not beingmet – either within the relationship or outside or it. The object of conflict managementis to ask for those needs to be met in a way that does not damage yourrelationship. Here are some tips that may be useful to manage anger and reduce conflict in relationships.
 1. TAKE TIME-OUT.
Disagreements are best dealt with when both parties are ina non-aroused state. Whenever possible, take a time-out to calm your body down. Techniques include breathing, relaxation & visualisation (see separateself-help guide). Strong emotions of anger, grief or anxiety donot make it easy for us to access ourrational faculties and so there is little benefit of trying to address disagreements in this condition – itoften just escalates into insults and unintentional dagger-throwing. Both of you should respect each other’s need for a time-out; it’s not running away from the issue, butpreparing yourself to deal with it in more receptive mode.
 2. REFLECT INTERNALLY 
Check in on yourself and ask yourself what you think the issue is about. Ask yourself what part you are playing in this – are youmisinterpreting what your partner has said? Areyou in a bad mood from something else? Are youbeing reasonable here? Ask yourself if you think it is an issue that is important enough to stand your ground on – can you let this go without resentment or do you need to ask your partner for something? Sometimes we argue outof habit and because it connects us (even thoughit is negative,at least we both get attention). Ask yourself whether you really need to take up this issue. If so, think about what exactly you need to ask for.
 3. EXPLAIN
Avoid presuming that your partner should knowwhat is wrong. Empathy is an elusive concept – it is nearly impossible for another person to truly know what you areexperiencingand to give you what you want. It useful if you can ask for what you need.
 4. TAKE PERSPECTIVE
There is sometimes great temptation to elevate the stakes in an argument.Threats and ultimatums are damaging to the ego and chip away at the whole of the relationship. Thus, try andkeep the argument to the specific issue rather than make the whole relationship at risk. Avoid‘if you do this one more time…’ ‘I can’t take this any more, I’m leaving’… Each of you should knowthat however unpleasant this disagreement is, it will not touch therelationship. If the relationship is to end, it should be decided separately to a heated argument.
 5. TRY TO PERSONALIZE
The conversationis best approached from a personal angle, rather than blamingyour partner.If your partner hears criticism he/she will want to defend himself/herself rather than address the issue. Try and use ‘I feel…’, ‘It hurts me when…’, ‘I would really like it if…’, rather than ‘you make me feel…’, ‘when you do that….’. Try also to avoid generalization such as ‘you always do that..’, ‘you never think…’ – it iscertainly hurtful and isusually inaccurate.
6. OWN UP TO MISTAKES 
It is not a weakness to accept that you have acted out of line. Owning up to faults and mistakesis helpful to both parties, so long as it is not done out of martyrdom or for manipulativeeffect. Apologising early can save a lot of unnecessary conflict.
 7. INCLUDE SOMETHING POSITIVE 
When putting your point across, it brings good results if you can refer to something positive as well. The discussion is unlikely to be rosy, but if you can draw on aspects that you do like, it will make your partner less tense and combative. Putting across negative points in a humorous way can also work. Humour doesn’t mean your partner is trivialising the issue, rather it makes it easier for him/her to confront an issue.
8. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT
By clinging to the painful memory of a past event (no matter how distressing it was) you are impeded from living in the present. You are entitled to a period of grieving and are allowed to make your needs clear to your partner. Long-held resentment will tarnish arelationship. Try not to use past events as ammunition. Even though it might be a recurring issue, the current disagreement should address the here and now.
9. AIM TO BE HAPPY, NOT TO BE RIGHT
The purpose of approaching conflict is to get to maximum results for both of you. When you argue to win (by point-scoring), the gain is short-term and mostly leaves you feeling worse. Whenyou argue to ask for your needs to be met, it is still unpleasant, but you are working to building better conditions for both of you.
 10. AGREE TO DISAGREE
You are entitled to ask your partner to help meet your needs, but you are not in the business of getting your partner to come aroundto seeing theworld as youdo. It is fruitless to try to convert themto your philosophy of life. Differences should be embraced – including different setsof interests and activities. Finally, it is not up to your partner to fulfil all ofyour needs, they also have to be met internally and with other people (family, friends).
 Source: Harley Therapy And Conselling

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Sitting risks: How Harmful Is Too Much Sitting?

Researchers have linked sitting for long periods of time with a number of health concerns, including obesity and metabolic syndrome — a cluster of conditions that includes increased blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess body fat around the waist and abnormal cholesterol levels.
Too much sitting also seems to increase the risk of death from cardiovascular disease and cancer. One recent study compared adults who spent less than two hours a day in front of the TV or other screen-based entertainment with those who logged more than four hours a day of recreational screen time. Those with greater screen time had: A nearly 50 percent increased risk of death from any cause About a 125 percent increased risk of events associated with cardiovascular disease, such as chest pain (angina) or heart attack The increased risk was separate from other traditional risk factors for cardiovascular disease, such as smoking or high blood pressure. Sitting in front of the TV isn’t the only concern. Any extended sitting — such as behind a desk at work or behind the wheel — can be harmful. What’s more, spending a few hours a week at the gym or otherwise engaged in moderate or vigorous activity doesn’t seem to significantly offset the risk. Rather, the solution seems to be less sitting and more moving overall. You might start by simply standing rather than sitting whenever you have the chance. For example: Stand while talking on the phone or eating lunch. If you work at a desk for long periods of time, try a standing desk — or improvise with a high table or counter. Better yet, think about ways to walk while you work: Walk laps with your colleagues rather than gathering in a conference room for meetings. Position your work surface above a treadmill — with a computer screen and keyboard on a stand or a specialized treadmill-ready vertical desk — so that you can be in motion throughout the day. The impact of movement — even leisurely movement — can be profound. For starters, you’ll burn more calories. This might lead to weight loss and increased energy. Even better, the muscle activity needed for standing and other movement seems to trigger important processes related to the breakdown of fats and sugars within the body. When you sit, these processes stall — and your health risks increase. When you’re standing or actively moving, you kick the processes back into action.

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