Different Ways to Marry the Wrong Person continues

This is the continuation of a previous post. Enjoy
1. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship.Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There’s a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.2. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table.Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, then you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.3. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too.If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.

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Married Couples: Steps To Asking For What You Want In Bed!!

s*xual communication, which is necessary to get what you want out of s*x, is a challenge for most couples. Many people are either too embarrassed or concerned that talking about s*x and what you want in bed will lead to an argument. Discussing s*x with your spouse will not only increase your intimacy, but it will also improve s*x. And you can talk about the kind of s*x you’d like to have without fighting. Really.
Here’s what you need to do to ask for what you want in bed when having s*x :
1. s*xual Communication: Think before you talk.
Before you broach the subject of s*x with your spouse, you must be sure of your intentions. Your motivation should be to improve your s*x life and enjoy s*x more and not to punish your husband for forgetting to mow the lawn last weekend. Once you are certain your intentions are good, come up with a plan for what you’d like to say. Consider your spouse’s feelings and think specifically about what you truly desire. Make a list if you have to.
2. s*xual Communication; Set the mood.
Obviously, you should pick a time and place (your home is probably best) where the two of you can be alone and free from distractions. If you’re just interested in increasing the frequency of s*x, you might consider setting the mood before coming out and asking for s*x. For instance, you could light a few candles, run a bath for you and your spouse, and then start kissing him or her to get s*x started. In this way, you are communicating without saying a word.
3. s*xual Communication; Be positive.
Instead of telling your partner the things he or she does during s*x that you don’t like, tell them what they do to pleasure you. For example, you could say, “You drive me wild when you nibble on my ear before s*x,” instead of, “I hate it when you lick my belly during s*x.” If you keep telling your spouse about the stuff you like, eventually he or she will focus on a repertoire of those things.
4. s*xual Communication; Give explicit directions.
Again, you’re trying to eliminate criticism and negativity to avoid hurting your spouse’s feelings. Tell him or her exactly what you’d like done to you. Be very specific. Whisper something like, “Look into my eyes as you unbutton my shirt. Kiss me and run your finger down my torso. Begin to touch my br**sts…” You get the idea.
This exercise will not only get you what you want in bed but it can also be er*tic, which can spice up s*x.
5. s*xual Communication; Use your hands.
Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk. You can simply use your hands to direct your spouse along your body and into the positions you’d like. This show and tell could even be a game for the two of you, where neither of you talks, but you let your hands and perhaps some moaning if it happens naturally be your guide.
6. s*xual Communication; Employ positive reinforcement.
When your spouse does something you enjoy while having s*x, tell him or her. Moan, groan, or simply say, “That was great…” or “I love it when you do that…” Speak up because a pat on the back, a round of applause, and a “You’re wonderful” always set up a person for continued success. We all want to get those applause again and again. So couples enjoy you marital life today. No more excuses or fight about sex... ok!
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Married Couples: Reasons To Have s*x Every Day

There’s no doubt that an active s*x life makes couples live a happy and longer life. Check out the list of benefits of regular s*xual activity.
1. Increases immunity
According to studies, regular s*x positively influences immunity both in men and women. So if you are having s*x daily, then you should know that it increases the level of immune-boosting antibody called immunoglobulin A, which helps you fight common illnesses.
2. Great form of exercise
Not surprising! s*x helps to burn those stubborn calories. Studies suggest that having s*x regularly is as good as pumping iron in the gym. What is more, during the intercourse there is muscular movement of the thighs, legs, arms, shoulders and lower abdomen which is like the total workout of the body.
3. Brings a couple closer
Most couples, busy with work commitments, sometimes find it difficult to spend time together during the day. But they can get the most out of their bedrooms. Interestingly, regular lovemaking makes people closer thus strengthening their relationship.
4. Comfort factor
Do you still feel vulnerable in bed, especially when you’re unclad in front of your partner? Having s*x life more often can help you to overcome this barrier. Studies reveal that couples who make love more frequently are likely to feel reassured about themselves in bed.
5. Makes you look and feel young
Some studies reveal that s*xual interaction allows the release of endorphins and boosts the skin’s production of vitamin D, which in turn makes one look and feel young.
6. Helps to fight stress
Good news is that you can relieve stress and depression with the help of your s*xual performance in the bedroom. Couples who make love regularly enjoy a more relaxed and happy life than those who have s*x once a week.
7. Gives you better sleep
Having s*x before going to bed is the best way to ensure a good night’s sleep. Pleasant exhaustion after lovemaking is a normal reaction of the body which helps in inducing sleep. So after a hard day at work, indulge in sweat-inducing s*x to get some restful slumber.
8. It’s plain fun
s*x can be a fun exercise for couples who are in a committed relationship. So while physical intimacy helps the two of you stay connected, it also helps in adding some spice in your life. Moreover, experimenting in the bedroom with more than just vanilla s*x can add that much-needed naughty element to your relationship.

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Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse.
Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open.
With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize these 10 insights – by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married… for the worst!”
So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love” often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character?
Here are four traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her? 3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn’t understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t “get it.” Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved, to feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism’s approach to intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen. 4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: chemistry and compatibility share common interests share common life goal Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re “living for,” while you’re single and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a “soul mate.” A soul mate is a goal mate, two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals. 5. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly. Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce. 6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity,loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

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Natural Ways To Boost Her S*x Drive

S*x is a total-body experience. It’s not just touching her, or looking at her, or hearing her moan. It’s all of that and more.
Here is how to improve your woman’s s*xual experience using her sense organs;
1. Where Does Pleasure Start?
With a glimpse of skin or the first touch? Maybe it’s the sound of her key in your door. We use our five senses primarily for purposes other than enjoyment. s*x is a chance to use them to just experience your body. And hers. And yours with hers. Employ all five senses, and s*x is more than a roll in the sack. It’s pure pleasure.
2. TOUCH
Touch is a woman’s primary trigger for desire. With the other senses, you’re not necessarily engaged while your partner experiences it. But touch is reciprocal: “You can feel me touching you while I experience touching you.”
Take advantage with a s*x therapy technique called “sensate focus.” Have your partner lie flat on her back with her eyes closed, and slowly caress her head and face, hair, nose, ears, lips; cover it all. Pretend this is your last chance to savor her body. Move to her torso and legs and feet, then flip her over and repeat. The point is to chart new er*tic territory. The private parts, br**sts, and inner thighs have the most nerve receptors, so they’re most sensitive. But almost any body part can become er*tic if you learn to associate it with s*xual pleasure.
3. SMELL
Your natural scent may actually be one of the most powerful tools in your arousal arsenal. There is some evidence that humans have pheromones.
So sweat together: Exercise activates your apocrine glands, the site of pheromone release in primates. Each woman reacts differently, but research shows that musk can decrease vaginal bloodflow; women may associate the scent with jerks. Instead, dust your bod in baby powder, which can elevate vaginal bloodflow, or for a first date, wear eucalyptus, camphor, and menthol. These scents increase empathy.
4. SOUND
Your moaning may excite her, but it’s probably not what sends her over the edge. Sounds cue men in to whether a woman is really enjoying s*x, but women can physically see when a man is aroused. What she really craves is communication. In the form of four-letter words.
If whispering explicit nothings doesn’t come naturally, simply tell her what you want during s*x, but substitute naughty words for your normal s*xual vocab. You don’t want her to feel out of control. Start by telling her to do things you already know she’s comfortable with.
Or let music do the job for you. Explicit lyrics can have the same effect as dirty talk. Turn it into foreplay.
5. SIGHT
Most women don’t want pictures of your man-hood. But not because they think it is repulsive; they just want to see all of you. Men are often turned on by body parts, but most women are turned on by context and people. When women look at s*xual pictures, they look at many things besides private parts, what’s on the table, the color of the flowers. It’s not that she’s more interested in the centerpiece than your man-hood: Women just use more visual cues to guide their attraction.
Research suggests that the most resounding cue may, in fact, be your face. Instead of shooting her a dirty pic, send a head shot with a sexy caption. But in bed, let her see all the action: Have her lie on her back, knees up, and kneel between her legs. More of your muscles will be visible and activated. Plus, she can watch you penetrate.
6. TASTE
Katy Perry kissed a girl. . .and what did she remember? The taste of cherry ChapStick. Women care more than men do about a pleasant-tasting mouth, possibly because their sense of taste is more finely tuned. But the effect is more Pavlovian than primal: If a taste reminds you of a successful s*xual experience, it will induce arousal.
If she doesn’t dig the taste of semen, you probably aren’t going to change her mind. So take the more obvious route to gustatory arousal: food. Choose a food she rarely eats but enjoys; chocolate-covered cherries and feed it to her during foreplay.
The s*x reinforces the pleasure of food, and the pleasure of food reinforces the s*x. Eventually the food alone may be enough to trigger her arousal.
Source: MensHealth

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Types of S*x You Should Avoid, No Matter How Good it Feels

S-E-X! It may be good for your heart, great for your mood and even work wonders on your skin, but not all types offer the same benefits.
Sometimes s*x can make a bad situation worse and leave you wishing you hadn’t wasted your good underwear and clean sheets on a brief fling with s*xual mediocrity.
Here are the 4 types of s*x to avoid at all cost.
1. Break-Up s*x: It may seem appealing to take one last ride on that pony for old time’s sake, but the consequences will likely outweigh the benefits. You are breaking up, which means something isn’t working. And even if s*x isn’t the cause of your break-up, it can complicate an already delicate situation. For instance, it’s easy for your partner to misconstrue your intentions. When it comes to break-up s*x, you don’t want your “It has been a pleasure doing business with you,” to be misinterpreted for a “Thank you. Come again!” Even if you’re the type who makes your intentions crystal clear, science still offers warnings against break-up s*x. Romantic rejection and heartbreak trigger the same parts of the brain associated with pain, distress and addiction. It takes time to reduce these triggers and when the wound is fresh, you don’t want to train your body to link s*x with these conditions.
2. Drunk s*x: A few drinks may loosen you up and help you to shed your inhibitions, but be sure to limit how many glasses you down as you may end up shedding and downing more than you bargained for. “Bottom’s up” may be in good fun at the bar, but you need to decide whether you’re open to letting it take on a whole new meaning bedside. If you plan on drinking, bear in mind that alcohol impairs your judgment. Booze goggles not only cause light-of-day regret the following morning, but also reduce the likelihood of using condoms and other safer s*x tools, so plan ahead. And that liquid confidence may seemingly improve your performance on the dance floor, but it can have the opposite effect sexually. Alcohol impacts your body’s s*xual response and circulation making erections and lubrication harder to come by.
3. Self-Pity s*x (The One Night Stand): If you’re having a little pity party for yourself and think that a one-night stand will elevate your spirits, you may want to think again, especially if you’re a woman. While a one-time roll in the hay (or nightclub restroom stall) can be fun for some, women seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to casual s*x. And the short sticks aren’t to blame. Research shows that over half (54 per cent) of women often feel disappointed by one-night stands and report high levels of regret the morning after. On the other hand, 80 per cent of men feel positively about the experience and say that it helps them to blow off some steam. Steam? Is that what they’re calling it these days? So before you take the plunge and turn to casual s*x to lift your spirits, be sure to consider other ways to crash the pity party. 4. Make-Up s*x: Experts are split on this one and you can decide for yourself whether make-up s*x works for you. Some psychologists believe that it rewards fighting, drama and generally bad behaviour. They suggest that couples are dealing with intensely negative emotions and instead of finding a resolution, they seek an opposite experience (pleasure) in s*x. They argue that this type of s*x isn’t “real intimacy” and that it can lead to loneliness and the belief that everything can be fixed with s*x. What a world it would be if this were true!
If you find yourself enticed by these four types of s*x, you may want to take a moment to reconsider. And if you’re still tempted, at least consider the laundry!
Cored from MSN

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